Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Headlines that could have been dated April 1, from the Telegraph

Swedish men told to beware testicle-munching fish
Experts have warned Swedish men to keep their swimming trunks on if taking a dip in a sound off the country's southern coast, after a South American fish known for attacking testicles was discovered in the area.
Telegraph, 3 September:
Testicle munching fish now found in River Seine in Paris
A South American fish known as the "ball-cutter" due to its taste for human testicles has been caught in Paris' Seine river.
Long arm of the law saves officer caught with his trousers down
An armed police officer who had sex with a married woman while on duty kept his job after arguing that he could still reach his gun because it was attached to his trousers around his ankles.

343 French sign 'Don't Touch My Whore' petition

A court has rejected a 60-year-old man's attempt to invoke the ancient right to trial by combat, rather than pay a £25 fine for a minor motoring offence. Leon Humphreys remained adamant yesterday that his right to fight a champion nominated by the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) was still valid under European human rights legislation. 

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